You have been invited to Jill’s annual, holiday season lunch. While, for years at this time, you would be frantic to come with a suitable dress to wear on this most awaited occasion. However, due to this major fight you had with her last month over a seemingly trivial issue, it is not the dress as much as the thought of going and ‘facing’ the situation, that is giving you panic attacks. There is always a choice of simply not going but if you must, to kill any further gossip that could go around if you do not show up, here are some ideas to make things a little easier for yourself:
1. Give Yourself Some Pep-Talk
Once you have decided to go, your mind will be swamped with worries like; what if Jill says something offensive again? What if so and so, passes a snide remark? What if I end up having a bigger fight than I initially had, and there is the added element of public embarrassment this time?? All these questions will probably shake your confidence and you might have an urge to abandon the idea of going.
But you need to tell yourself, that it is always better to face things and be awkward for a little while than have your whole social/work circle speculating for days behind your back. Remind yourself of any awkward situations you may have faced in the past and how it was not as big a deal as your mind had blown it up to be. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Create acceptance of that worse scenario. Assure yourself, that you will leave early, so that you do not have to be uncomfortable for too long. Finally, dress to the nines and make your way to the party with your head held high.
2. Wear Sunglasses
There are more benefits of wearing sunglasses than just shielding you from the sun. Except please, don’t wear them when the sun is down, unless you want to be mistaken as blind or an escapee from the madhouse. In awkward situations, the one thing we never want to show is our emotions and our ‘awkwardness’, that’s where large sunglasses come in handy. They will keep the other person second guessing, as you keep the windows to your soul, well hidden.
3. Take Someone Along
It is best to ask a friend of yours who does not know Jill or maybe ask a niece or nephew to accompany you, to ease things up a bit for yourself. Do send in a text, to the host before you decide to take an uninvited guest with you though. If they refuse, then well you always have your phone to keep you busy. Nevertheless, if they do agree that would be better, as chatting away with the company you brought would seem much more healthier than being glued to your phone like a smart phone addict. Besides, if you have someone unfamiliar by your side, it might keep some particularly spiteful people with their unwelcome comments at bay. Come to think of it, if you choose to take a plus sized or rather intimidating friend along, you might feel a little more confident yourself.
4. Clear Your Mind and Enjoy
Sometimes, we over think so much about awkward situations that we actually lose touch of reality. We imagine all sorts of things. As a matter of fact, imagine the very situation to be awkward, which may not actually be. People may have forgotten or may not have thought about things like we expected. We forget that everyone is burdened by their own set of problems and not everybody cares enough or has time enough to dwell on our issues. We give our troubles way too much importance and then flatter ourselves by assuming, that people are busy preparing mocking remarks for us. Yes, there are evil folks who could be like that, but those are exceptions. In usual circumstances, the next guy is just as non confrontational, as us. The common man wants to avoid arguments and untoward events just as much as we want to. It is uncomfortable, being the ‘bad guy’ for most people. If we actually, understand this reality, maybe we would not stress so much over being ‘awkward’.
So since, we have all these biases sometimes, everyone in the crowd is acting normal except our own selves. Our own thoughts are making us ‘awkward’. We must learn to let go of such thoughts and go with a clear mind whenever faced with such instances. For, if we go with a negative mindset, we are likely to interpret even positive things negatively. People are on the lookout for a good time on social events not for quarrel mongering. Hence, acting normal is your best bet. Enjoy yourself and people will enjoy with you.
p.s: Please share with us, your way of dealing in awkward situations, in the comments section below.
disclaimer: featured image is taken from – https://image.slidesharecdn.com/embrace-the-awkward-160217024257/95/how-to-embrace-those-inevitable-7-638.jpg?cb=1485306142